Worst Jokes Ever

Like if you're emo, LMAO.

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "I gagged."

Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!

If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

You also can't breathe if you die.

So why isn't it debreathiation?

What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?

She died the next weekend.

The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.

Why are Communists considered the left?

Because they can’t do anything right.

What do women and moldy bread have in common?

A yeast infection.

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.

I see that you start work at 9am, but your hairline starts at 9:15am.

All of us.

I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.

I woke up and my pillow was gone.

Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”

Kenya believe it?

A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.

How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.