Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
"Spell ICUP."
I got nothing.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns!
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
Dark jokes are like food, not everybody gets it.
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."