Worst Jokes Ever
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What is a "dad?"
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.