Worst Jokes Ever
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
Gvido gubis.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
You want a pizza from me!!!!
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
Myles Parfitt ;/
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.