Worst Jokes Ever
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Oh, shit, I have nothing to say to you!
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
What is heavy forward but not backward?
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.