Worst Jokes Ever
Why is suicide illegal?
Because it destroys government property.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Oh, shit, I have nothing to say to you!
My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
What do Indian hip hop artists eat?
Rice rice baby.
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
Biden: Shut up, Trump, disrespectful!
President: You are the one with the inappropriate hair touching, bro. ๐๐๐๐๐๐
Biden: -laughs hard because sloppy Joe can't do anything.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they're dead.
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
I usually hang up Halloween decorations,
but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.
When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.