Worst Jokes Ever
Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Robetoe.
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
Dark humor is like a boy with cancer.
They never get old.
Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
What's red, green, and smells like shit?
... Red and green shit.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
My dick.
1 + 1 = window.