Worst Jokes Ever
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
How many genders are there? One: Men! Women are property!
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
My whole life.
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
What's bright red and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.
We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
How many Africans does it take to change a light?
A water bottle.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Me: What do you call a group of retards?
Friend: Down town?
Me: Nope, target practice.
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
I fucked my mom.
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."