Worst Jokes Ever
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.
Want to hear a joke, huh?
Me........
[Son] said, "Hi, Dad, I'm hungry."
[Dad] said, "Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad."
[Son] PIE PIE PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.