Worst Jokes Ever
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
Hi Andrew, this is Nick.
Levi and Andrew are fat.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him for a drag.
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
Two cannibals were eating a clown when one looked at the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you?"
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.