Worst Jokes Ever

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

They don't have a home to get their guns.

I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"

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So you know "The Lion King."

Do you remember Simba?

Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.

So I told him to Mufasa.

Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!

I had to give up my vegetarian diet.

Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.

Why did 7 kill 11?

Because now 7 was even.

Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.

What do you call a gold digger?

A miner.

What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?

Lean beef.

If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.

How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.

Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?

Because they have no family.

If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"

What time is it? It's time for lunch.

*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*

Hello.

Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?

Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.