Worst Jokes Ever
Eggs
You crack me up!
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
My dad hits me :(
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
Uranus is up in the sky today.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
9/11
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!