Worst Jokes Ever
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin.
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
Big Dolly Parton hair, like an 80s prom queen!
I like fire trucks and monster trucks.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Time to play guitar!
*absolutely shreds*