Worst Jokes Ever
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.