Worst Jokes Ever
I'm hungry.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.