Worst Jokes Ever
Good night.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Never lands.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.