Worst Jokes Ever

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?

"Put it in my bill."

You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.

A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.

The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."

Lol

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

Which is better looking, girls or women?

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!

I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)

iykyk

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.

There is an upside to being an orphan.

Every bag of chips is family size.

Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.

Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?

Because he needs the parent's signature.

I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

What do you say when the toilet is clogged?

Oh shit!