Worst Jokes Ever

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.

I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?

Screamed till her hands fell off.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?

Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.

Do you know Candice?

Candice dick fit in your mouth!

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"

What's funnier than 24? 25!

What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?

Lean beef.

If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!

I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.

Star Wars jokes:

Qui-Gon Chin, Mace Chindo, Chinbakka, Darth Chinious, Anachin Skywalker.

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?

Yeah, it's called RobberBand.

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.

Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.