Worst Jokes Ever
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
What do you call a wingless fly?
A walk!
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Oh no!
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
Why can't orphans go to movies?
There PG-13 movies.
Orphan
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!