Worst Jokes Ever

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1

What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?

He flew up!

Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.

What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?

Tamaleto.

Man, Uranus is so big!

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents can't push them on the swing!

How is your cereal? Oh, wait.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

Friend: Slavery isn't good.

Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.

Me: Shut up and get me a juice!

Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.

Girlfriend: No.

Boyfriend: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you want sex.

Boyfriend: No, I don't.

NEXT MINUTE

The man could hear banging.

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.

Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.

Type this in your calculator:

5 days a week (type in 5),

6 different classes (type in 6),

7 hours a day (type in 7),

x

2 semesters (type in 2),

=

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).