Worst Jokes Ever
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
The bomb.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
"Curry muncher!"
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
Why do orphans play with boomerangs?
Because they come back.
I made a website for orphans, but it wouldn’t let me put a homepage.