Worst Jokes Ever
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Elephant
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
Ur mum.
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
Nickelback.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
Yesterday, a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!