Worst Jokes Ever
Yes.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!
Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.
On a desk in pure isolation.
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.