Worst Jokes Ever
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
"Curry muncher!"
Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.
North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/