Worst Jokes Ever
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.