Worst Jokes Ever
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
The bomb.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.