Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?

Yo mama can be found on Google maps.

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"

A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."

My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.