Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.
What type of people have the record of the most amount of stories read?
Emos, they're still in the air.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
So there was a reason why I hated math.
I suck at problem-solving.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.