Worst Jokes Ever
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
So there was a reason why I hated math.
I suck at problem-solving.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.
I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.
I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.
I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.