Worst Jokes Ever
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
What is Jimmy Savile's favorite Roblox game?
"Undress to Impress."
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
WJE officially a gone memory.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!
The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."
The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.