Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.
JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife.
Your hairline goes so far back even history can’t record it.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
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You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Your hairline is so ugly, it's stretching down to Bikini Bottom.
The priest had a very holy shirt.
What is wrong with the orphan website? It doesn't have a homepage.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Helen Keller walked into a bar...
And into a table, and into a chair.
What do you call emo girls?
Cutting boards.
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
"Hi, this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce."
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "father."
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.