Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

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  • I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

    She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

    Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

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  • An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.

    The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

    The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

    The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

    It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.

    Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

    But the cancer patients aren't.

    Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

    White person: Dad, you're home!

    Black person: Dad?

    White person: You can keep the change.

    Black person: Empty the register.

    How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?

    When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.

    You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”

    I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

    Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

    I guess it really IS all in the execution.

    When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?

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