Worst Jokes Ever
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."