Worst Jokes Ever
What has 3 legs, 4 arms, and 5 heads?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.
Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?
Jack: Bad News first.
Mother: I'm dying!
Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.
Mother: *cries*
Jack was never seen again.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
Stop copying each other, fucking losers!
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.