Worst Jokes Ever
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
Karolien's life.
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
What is an orphan's favorite Marvel movie?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.