Worst Jokes Ever
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
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Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
Uranus is a gas giant.
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.