Worst Jokes Ever
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home plate.
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.