Worst Jokes Ever
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims. 100 stories in 11 seconds.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.