Worst Jokes Ever
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
Why did the koala go to bed?
Because it was leafing.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."