Worst Jokes Ever
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "πβΌβ ββΌβ β‘βπ π§ββΌββππ§ βΌββββ β βπβ"
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz youβre looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Why shouldnβt you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.