Worst Jokes Ever
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"
He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims. 100 stories in 11 seconds.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!