Worst Jokes Ever
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"