Worst Jokes Ever
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
Why is it called a building if it's already built?
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?
Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.