Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?

"Feet! Feet!"

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

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What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"

The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.

What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Alone time.

My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.

The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?

(Doesn't have boss bar.)

Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?

To get to the opera.

Why can't an orphan live peacefully?

Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.

What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?

Someone gets hurt.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!

Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

Dad jokes.