Worst Jokes Ever

What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...

I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...

A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"

I walked towards him.

"I prefer slit," I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"You see these wrists?" I spat at him.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.

That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.

So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."

What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.

Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.

How do Chinese people name their children?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

"Please get out of the pool."

Do you know where priests go at night?

To all night sale at Boys R Us.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.

I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.

What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.

Question: What did the sun say to the little star?

Answer: Are you my SUN?

Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!

Touch Down.