Worst Jokes Ever
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
This pun is so bad you're gonna punch me.
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
This orphan showed me a family photo.
But it was just a selfie.
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
What do you call an orange parrot? A carrot!
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."