Worst Jokes Ever
What does a pig call its dad... mom? 😂
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn't have a home page.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
What is Jesus's favorite exercise? Cross fit.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
The belt broke.
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”