Worst Jokes Ever
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.