Worst Jokes Ever
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
I'm fucking retarded.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
There are three men walking down the road, and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm, there is a cow, a monkey, and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money, and the farm is going out of business.
One of the men sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest, but the cow is so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle, it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them suggested that they put a cork up the cow's behind. The first guy says, "Okay, then go put a cork there."
"I don't want to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it." And the monkey puts the cork in the cow's behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm.
The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of the cow. "Guys, we need to take the cork out of the cow," he says.
"Well, I'm not going to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it again." So the monkey uncorks the cow, and there was a huge explosion. A few days later, the three men wake up in the hospital.
The doctor walks up to the first man and asks, "What happened?"
The first man replies, "All I remember is that horrible sound."
The doctor walks up to the second man and asks, "What happened?"
"All I remember is that horrible smell..."
The doctor walks up to the third man and again asks the same question. The third man looks at him and says, "All I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...