Worst Jokes Ever
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Hi Bradyeeeeeeee!
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
Because he was a chicken!
I started a band called 1023 megabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig.
Why didn't the chair cross the road? Because it was a chair.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?