Worst Jokes Ever
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?