Worst Jokes Ever

I love big hot sexy men.

Why is a tomato red?

Because it saw the ranch dressing!

Mushroom?

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop up an onion.

Creeper?

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.

Video games don't make people violent, lag does.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

Hitler isn’t really a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler himself.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?

Because she can’t hear the sea.

What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?

Nazrat.

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬

Is it a bird, is it a plane?

No, it’s a 9/11 victim.