Worst Jokes Ever
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?
Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
Why did the orphan go to the playground?
To see if it could find its parents.
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.
The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!