Worst Jokes Ever
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
I like penguins.
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Heaven.
Heaven who?
Heaven fun over there?
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."