Worst Jokes Ever
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What is the best type of girl to fuck?
Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
The Harry Potter fanbase.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
My sex life.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"
"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!