Worst Jokes Ever
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?
I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.