Worst Jokes Ever
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"