Worst Jokes Ever

What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂

Flippity floppity, women are property.

Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?

Her: What?

Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.

How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.

If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?

So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.

Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.

What do you call an army of disabled people?

Special forces.

What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?

The Furred Reich.

What do you call a feminist? A Karen.

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

When is a rapist safe around children?

When his plans are oven ready.

What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?

The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

What part do people slit the most?

Everyone.

What’s the difference between a priest and target?

Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.

Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.

If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!

If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.