Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
I'm bald.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had a staring contest with a mirror.
There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.
Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...