Worst Jokes Ever
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?
Because he is DEAD.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What do you call a feminist? A Karen.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!