Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
Patient: Oh, doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.