Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.