Worst Jokes Ever
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Q: Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
A: Everywhere.
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES