Worst Jokes Ever
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.