Worst Jokes Ever
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.