Worst Jokes Ever
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."