Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Grenade launcher

    • Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

    Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

    Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

    Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

    Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

  • 1

    • Sex

    • Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.

  • 0

    • Puppet

    • There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.

  • 3

    • Sun

    • North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.

    Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."

    The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."

    Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

  • 16

    • Difference

    • What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

    The look on their face when you're nailing them.

  • 8

    • Blonde

    • A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.

  • 2

    • Misunderstanding

    • When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.

  • 3

    • Race

    • Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?

    Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!

  • 1

    • Name

    • Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?

    Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.

    Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?

    Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.

    Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!

    Dad: Oh, hey Brick!

  • 5

    • Bike

    • You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

  • 6