Worst Jokes Ever
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
My 2 year old Asian baby cant do calculus Look who in sweatshop now
British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.
Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.