Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.

If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.

A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

(Kid) Quit what?

(Bus Driver) Living.

(Kid) But it was a joke!

(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

(Kid) Ok.

(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!

Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"

Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."