Worst Jokes Ever
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
What do you call a group of depressed people? The Suicide Squad.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.