Worst Jokes Ever
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
What's white and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson.
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.