Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!