Worst Jokes Ever
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
New horror movie idea.
The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.
Flippity floppity, women are property.