Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
My friend said my life was a joke.
No jokes have meaning.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
What is an emo's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?