Worst Jokes Ever
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.