Worst Jokes Ever
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
That joke didn't land well, did it?
Why can't Asians play Baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."