Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.