Worst Jokes Ever
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
What instrument can a skeleton never play?
An organ.
David? Mitosis.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.